…Forever In My Heart…

This is a topic that I’ve been meaning to write about for a long time. And I don’t just mean on my blog (because I haven’t had it for that long), but in general.

As I looked online at “Suggested Blog Topics” I found this:

           Remember Something Important You’ve Lost

To keep things simple and open to your own point of view, please remember something important you’ve lost that you want to remember and think about. And write about what you chose and why.

Of course the first thing that came to mind was My Loving Grandma. It’s been a little less than 4 months now since she’s been gone. To be honest, time has gone by both fast and slow if that makes sense. It still feels like it all happened just yesterday. But it also feels like I haven’t seen her in years. Every day I play back the scene of that day when the doctor told us there was nothing they could do for her. I still feel as though I need to go to her house and visit her. It’s still not real to me that she’s gone.

I was always very close with my grandma. In fact, my grandmother was the one who named me! She was addicted to her novelas (spanish soap operas). One novela she watched was about this grandmother who had an amazing granddaughter who she was so proud of. If you can guess the granddaughter’s name you win a prize!!! You got it — Yesenia!! So the day I was born, my grandmother begged my mother to please name me Yesenia so that I could be the amazing granddaughter who would always make her proud. And for some reason my parents went along with it. I used to think they were crazy for it, but today I have this beautiful story to hold on to.

I miss her more than words could ever express. I was fortunate enough to have never experienced loss up until 4 months ago. The downside of that is that it hit me so hard it knocked the wind right out of me. To go from never experiencing loss to having your one and only grandma taken from you in a matter of hours is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure.

She was my only living grandparent. My father’s parents died before my parents were married, and my maternal grandfather died when I was just two. The only grandparent I had was my Liti. For those of you who didn’t have the pleasure of knowing her, she was the greatest, gentlest, kind-hearted woman  on earth. She brightened up any room she walked into. She was always laughing and smiling and acting as though she didn’t have a care in the world. As long as she was with her family, she was happy.

Not only did she have a beautiful soul, but she was STRONG! I have memories of my grandmother mowing her backyard! Can you picture my grandma mowing her yard!? She must have done this into her 70’s. Thankfully she stopped that years ago! We would go to her to open up the tightest sealed jars, and she would open them with no problem! She was the strongest woman i know. But not just physically, emotionally too.

My grandma had a hard life. She was an orphan by the time she was 5 and in her early 20’s she moved from Puerto Rico to America all alone with a baby to care for. She had 5 children and she made sure that they had a great childhood! She put her family above everything and everyone. Through all of her struggles and battles, she made sure that above all else they were Loved.

She had 5 grandchildren (including Lou, who she loved like one of her own) and we were most definitely her pride and joy! She would do anything for any one of us! She was proud of us all for our individual accomplishments. Her love was unconditional, and we felt it every day. Now that she’s gone I wish I could have just one more day with her.

We will miss her at family gatherings, and during the holidays. We will miss her during celebrations and milestones. I’ll miss her at my wedding next year and I’ll miss her every day for the rest of my life. I’m happy that I had 24 glorious years with her. She was the best grandma a girl could ever ask for and her memory will live on forever.

I plan on spending the rest of my life living up to my name so that I can be the amazing granddaughter who she will always be proud of.

                                             Te amo con todo mi corazon, mi Liti.

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